I am really happy. Things are really good. Everything is working out. 

Saying I am over it also makes the opposite true, So I won't say it. Might be too late. Point is, I don't feel anything regarding him. Would have been anger, or confusion, or longing, or something. But It's pretty much just contentment, that we both moved on. It takes a lot of guts to realize there is something wrong with a relationship and to be able to end it, instead of just staying there for fear of being alone. And I'm not gonna lie, I was totally afraid of being alone. 

I forgot though that being alone is what I am good at. I am really a selfish person, so being with someone is too hard, cause I forget about myself and make it all about them. Which is really unhealthy for a selfish person. 

The point of all the backstory and context is that I like this boy. Well... He is definitely not a boy. I mean... well. He is a man boy. Too much of an age difference for those around me to be comfortable with. Everyone would just tell me it was a phase or whatever. But I don't choose my friends, or my (insert whatever he is to me) by their age, Just like I don't choose them by their hair color. "Age ain't nothin but a number"

And maybe the only reason he brings it up, and I try to avoid it, is because there is nothing else that could be wrong about it. We both are attracted to eachother. We both enjoy the others company. And we get along with eachothers friends. Accept that he never hangs out with my friends cause he likes to stay at home... xD

The thing is that I want to tell people, and only like 3 people know my blog, so I decided those three get to know. I like him. He is good to me, and good for me. And I just wanna see where this goes.... 

<3Molly

Sometimes.

Trying hard and failing not to mention the fact that it has been so long, it's just become a formality to mention it. Sometimes it just happens, I get caught up following all the blogs (go look at some, wow, some are excellent!) and I forget that writing is something I really enjoy. There is a chance that the reason I don't write so much on here is because there is some internal conflict for me about it. Writing is such a personal thing for me that I am not always of the mindset that it should be shared. But sharing is caring, and there are some things I think the world should know.

1. Onread.com- Allowing me to read a popular yet pigeon-holed book in secret without the embarrassment of buying it at my local bookstore. (c'mon, I mean, I know people who work there, and I know I shouldn't care but it started as just reading it to see if they would honestly let me read a book online fo' freee.)

2. Photobucket.com- ok, It isn't really the website itself, it's the fact that I have a bunch of pictures on there, that would be lost to me if I hadn't went and downloaded them all. I would have lost THESE GEMS...

Notice I am being steadied. By one Emily Lyerla. 

My first Myspace Profile Pic. Oh man I was cool. (8th Grade people...)

 

And Jack as a kitten. =)

3. I am never doing a musical theater production. Although I mean, Justin Bieber/Beiber says Never say Never. ha. I can at least say that I will never do a musical theater production again while I have friends, a life, and two cats as opposed to hundreds.

Anyway, That's enough for now. Back to my blogs. New post secret yesterday, new asofterworld, new QC. Imma get in my pjs for this shit.

Sewing again!

“I'm very definitely a woman and I enjoy it.” -Marilyn Monroe

Heeeeeey!!!!!

pssssssssssssssssssttt

I GOT A SEWING MACHINE!!!!!!

It was really super exciting and I really really forgot how much fun sewing is. I made a dress one time and then didn't wear it that much, but now that I am getting back into sewing (not on my moms machine) I am gonna do stuff all de time! 

Good or bad idea, making an etsy account and selling hairbows on it? The one in my hair is from American Apparel, but I want to start making them myself, and my first one looked like this........

I like it, but I need to make it a bit bigger. Gonna keep practicing. 

NIGHT! =)

How to think

"I have no use for before and after pictures. I can’t remember starting, and I’m never done." -Joey Comeau 

I wanted to start writing this at about 10:30? 

Sat here for two hours looking for a quote and picture to post. 

I try too hard, so just don't judge me ok? 

This morning I woke up at 9:15 (fifteen minutes after I was supposed to), got ready very quickly, and went to church where I was a reader. I read this passage about christmas which is one of the only reasons I was there this morning. (that and I am on the youth and family team, so I had a meeting after church) thing is, I usually sit with my mom where the band is and so we play the music. Sitting in the pews is different, my mom was kinda off cause she doesn't like to sit down there and she wasn't even going to come this sunday cause there was only one service, blah blah blah. The Point of all this is that during church they asked us to do something: Share a time in your life when you felt grateful to be alive. 

hmmm... I thought for a minute. Well. first thing that hit me was that most people would try to think of a time they almost died. My mom even turned to me and said, "I bet you have one, the bones in Rwanda or something?" (referring to me going into a mass grave site while in Rwanda). I just shook my head. That didn't make me grateful to be alive at all, if anything it made me ashamed to be alive while they all weren't, people who were possibly/probably better than me. 

This isn't supposed to be depressing. Point is ---> I was most grateful to be alive when I saw MCS live. 

When I was standing there in that sweaty mass of people and couldn't stop smiling and I heard...

"I found a letter that said I'm sorry that you were asleep when I wrote these words down, You'd think I ought to be used to that by now"

...I looked at Chella and belted it. She did too. 

I realized by remembering this moment that I want to go into the field of psychology because I want to learn how to think in a way that surprises people, like my mom and barbara (sat next to us at church)....

~~~~~

P.S. -- I know why I am afraid of you. It's because on TV, and in movies, I have been told that you are supposed to fall in love and everything goes perfectly, then something goes wrong and it gets ripped away, before you even get to the best parts. So I am scared. You scare me.

P.P.S. -- But.. TV and movies aren't real life. You make me brave. 

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